Thoughts on a Easter Sunday

I am almost 23, confused with all the lines in between, they are dying to be read, softly spoken simply said.

... God has a plan

Got that from this morning's sunday service. God has a plan. Two and some thousand years ago, when it seemed all was lost on this sunday morning, God took what was impossible and made it possible. He took care of the only thing that withstand between us and Him and made it so that we can be blessed in His presence. So thus, today should be a day of celebration, full of rejoice and worship, but yet, it is not so.

There is a boy i know, who forgot how to love. This was not always the case, for there was a time when his star shine brighter than all the others around him. So what caused this process of dimming? Where did his love go and when exactly did his lost it? maybe it was when he misplaced his love in places that it didn't belong. Maybe he lost it long ago when he was just a kid. Some says that he has lost his balls, and perhaps that is true. But if God has a plan, then what does this all mean?

When did the boy lost his balls? did the girl took it with her as she left? or maybe it was earlier... i liked to think it was the latter, for it doesn't make any sense that someone can take something away from the boy unless it was first given to. So that means, the balls weren't there to begin with. Hmm... yea, i can see that. Why is it so hard for me to love? too scared i think. tend to analyze too much, think too much, and act too little. If there is one thing i'm having trouble with, is that i can't give up control of my life. How nice would it be if the boy can go back to the days when he just went with the flow. How these humid sunny/raining days reminds the boy of home... And why he's not there, but here? Yet with all this, God has a plan.

The smart, and right thing to do would be to shift my focus on something else. instead of loving toward someone, I should love Him, and all others will fall in place. That's the thing, I always know what is the right thing to do. But yet, rarely do i take that advice. It's as if I'm in the woods trying to get out, there are multiple paths but only one is right. Even knowing which one is the right path, i tend to check out and circle about the other paths before eventually ending on the right path. I think what bugs me is that i never go fully all the way down a path. it's always a little peak here and a little peak there, never reaching any end. Live my journey as safely as possible, not leaving any room for mistakes or adventure. What am i saving for? If i don't take the risk now, there won't be rooms for mistakes later.

God has a plan for all of us. and when it is time, he will reveal it to us. In the mean time, live life. and with the spear time that you have, find out who you are. know thyself. this will be usefully later when we find out what God has in store for us in the future. As for now, I'm just chilling with my bad self, wishing all things could be as simple as it should be.