I think i peed on my tie...

I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.

After that I liked jazz music.

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.

I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of these happened.

- Donald Miller, intro to blue like jazz.

Lalala, Do-be-di-do!

Sometimes, I wake up in the morning thinking "what the fuck am i doing w/ my life." And then logic comes in and comfort me by saying "your life is fine. you're life is great. you lack in nothing and have the dream job that you always wanted." Then after 15 minutes... I feel better.

That's sometimes, but most of time i'm just too late for work that all that goes in my head is "fuck. i'm late again... damn."

So one day at work... weeks ago, when i was fresh new at work something happened. It was quite embrassing and it happened in the bathroom. For those of you who don't know any better, I work at this financial service firm as a financial advisor, we have a dress code and have to dress up in suit and tie at work. Which at first seemed like a bonus 'cause i love dressing up, but after wearing the same pants and shoe for the past 2 months, i'm starting to change my mind. You can only accessorize so much before your clients starts noticing that you're dirt cheap. note to self: Buy some DAMN suits! Anyways, back to my embrassing moment... I'd say that it happend on a hot July afternoon. We just got done with our class for the day and was studying for my series 6 test. I suddently had the urge to stop by the pool and drop off the kids. I figured that it was a good time for a break and went to the bathroom. When i got in i saw that someone had left the USA Today by the john and i thought to myself "Yay, lucky day!" So i picked up the paper and started reading, after laying down the toilet cover of course. I sat down and thought nothing about it and went on with my business. I'm not sure how you ladies does it when you gals go take a number two (and quite frankly, i don't want to know.) But for us guys, and by guys i meant me, we tend to unload the liquid first before the mass. You know, like the saying, "liquid before mass, never been lighter!" or something among that line... So anyways, I started peeing and going about my business when i sense something was not right. There was this unusual wetness around my thigh area, I pulled my eyes away from the sports section and looked down to investigate this unusual matter, then I noticed that my tie was actually dropped down into the toilet and the splashing was a result from me peeing on my tie! This discovery send me to a full disclosure of the dam and a lock down at the pool until further investorgation. Upon checking up on the tie, the good news was there was minimal evidence that this event ever occured. I had to think twice about what just happened because the tie looked somewhat fine (horray for water-resistance). Thus, I did what any logical male would do in such situation, I continue on and finished my business at the pool and wear the tie on my neck like nothing had ever happened for the rest of the day.

Sometimes we do stupid things like peeing on your tie, or other things like.... peeing on your tie. But let's not let these set backs ever keep us away from reaching our goal and passion in life. Passion takes time. Passion takes persistance. And passion takes work, in order for it to work. And it's not easy, no one every said that it would be easy. That's why it's so special when you finally get there. Just remember that all these are just trials, so that you may be complete, in lacking nothing when you've obtained your destiny and lives out your passion.

whatever, i'm done.

--- this essay is rated pg-13 for strong language. I tend to use foul language in two situations. 1) when i'm thinking in my head, and 2) when i'm drinking.

I'm drinking.

Don't let the sun past you by

Those who known me for awhile will testify to the fact that i wear t-shirts with my name on it. usually with a big "DAVID" right in the middle of my chest. I think it's pretty normal, not to mention cool, thing to do, but lately i'm having second thoughts. It's been brought to my attention that i am the only person in the whole-wide-world that actually wears t-shirt with their names on it. Hmm... thus led to the thought that either I AM either the coolest and baddest dude alive on the plant. Or, dare i say it. Been making a huge FOOL of myself for the past 3 years. Hmm...

The great thing about wearing your name on your chest is that everyone knows your name, and the downside about it is that... EVERYONE knows your name. Sometimes, not often. i'd say 3 out of 10 times i go out w/ my name on my chest, i run into strangers who for no reason at all feels like I am their bestest buddy because they know my name, and make seemly smart remarks like... "hey DAVID!"... or here's my favorite... "HI DAVID!" Great. awesome. The worst part about it is that it is never an attractive girl that says that, i'd be lucky if i get that from a girl at all. Usually it's a guy. Tall, Caucasian, ugly, red-faced. awesome... I guess what i'm trying to say is that 2 straight days w/ your name hanging on your chest is probably not the best idea. Perhaps i should start coordinating my weekly wardrobe.

Spent some time up at rocky butte today. Did a little studying up there and happened to caught the sunset. The weather was perfect. it was quite hot in the house but outside, up on that butte with the gentle breeze through your toes and the panoramic view of the gorge... it was quite perfect. there was this cloud out in the distance, it was not a big cloud, just a little vapor in the air. it looked quite easy on the eyes with my aviator shades on. The light from the sun was hitting it just right so that half of it was this amazing reddish color while the other half was glowing bright light. It looked so peaceful that if i weren't an educated man i would say that there lies heaven. I stayed there till sunset, the breeze had chilled to a nice comfortable cool. And watched the whole sunset. There was a moment, just when the sun was about to hide behind the mountain, just right before the last ray of light leaves my face, i took my eye off it. I looked down at this runner passing me by down the steps, and when i leveled my eyes again, it was gone. That was it, in a matter of a split second, the moment passed by. And the only thing i can think about at the time was ...how sad. that the runner who passed me by missed out on the moment.

Life's been crazy lately. Hmm... funny, that sounds familiar. Actually, life is crazy. life is busy. life is time consuming. tiring, sleep depriving, summer school studying, work till you drop CRAZY! we run, and run, and strive to make ourselves a stronger person, fit, cut to perfection, in our own world. may it be school, work, church, party, we strive till we are too tired to go on anymore. A hand full of rest in better than two hands striving after the wind.

Rest. don't let the sun past you by.

tying it all back to the t-shirt issue. For those who thought that wearing your name on your chest is only for FOOLS i'd say.... I'm DAVID HWANG damn it! David Hwang does not play by your silly little rules, David Hwang cannot be contained, He cannot be labeled for he is un-label-able. And most importantly, David Hwang is special. in a good way :) For those who are too busy too see that with their eyes, they're letting the Sun past by right in front of their eyes.

Ooooooh! Snap!

Go out and enjoy the sun today. do it NOW!