I don't know what to say...

She's dying,
and there's nothing I can do about it.

I'm sorry that I didn't take the time to know you better. It's a quarter to 2 and I'm looking through our yearbook remembering how joyful you are. Always there for your friends whenever they needed you, loyal by their side, and never draw attention to yourself. You were never the center of attention, even when you were sick. I've never once heard you complain, even tho you've survived death, once... There were 4 pictures of you in the yearbook. And in 2 of them you were helping out w/ a school project, some volunteer thing that others probably thought they were all too cool for at the time. And yet, you took the time. I know you are never going see this, but I just wanted people to know... I'm sorry.

There's no one in town I know

You gave us some place to go.

I never said thank you for that.

I thought I might get one more chance.

What would you think of me now,

so lucky, so strong, so proud?

I never said thank you for that,

now I'll never have a chance.

May angels lead you in.

Hear you me my friends.

On sleepless roads the sleepless go.

May angels lead you in.

So what would you think of me now,

so lucky, so strong, so proud?

I never said thank you for that,

now I'll never have a chance.

May angels lead you in.

Hear you me my friends.

On sleepless roads the sleepless go.

May angels lead you in.

May angles lead you in.

May angles lead you in.

And if you were with me tonight,

I'd sing to you just one more time.

A song for a heart so big,

God wouldn't let it live.

May angels lead you in.

Hear you me my friends.

On sleepless roads the sleepless go.

May angels lead you in.

May angels lead you in.

- hear you me, jimmy eat world

dear journal...

friday afternoon-
just found out that those crusaders won't let me and sam to the retreat 'cause we're outsider...aka, non-students. sad... crusade and their rules man, that's rough. i had everything planned to the dot, even told my dad that i'll be gone for the weekend. oh well, if i can't go to the retreat, i'll bring the retreat here...

saturday-
11:23am
laying on my bed... alone. just the way i like it. i love sleeping by myself, i think it's the greatest feeling in the whole wide world. if i'd be married, i sleep in seperate beds. my wife will be like, "let's cuddle together...pleeeease?", and i'd be like "get off me fool!", and kick her off the bed. yep. single greatest feeling in the world.

you know what's even better than waking up in the morning by yourself? waking up in the morning by yourself w/ your dad standing next to you. yep. dad walked into the room 45 minutes ago and was surprised to see me sleeping here. i think i shocked him.

11:26am
oww. there's this burning sensation on my right index finger, like a 3rd degree burn or something... hmm. oh yea. ha, that's right. i was picking up burning logs last night. it was cold, and someone have to keep the fire going. so i volunteered. also, i'm sensing this strong urge to poop. usually, after a good night of drinking i always have the urge to poop, and it usually comes out foul and funky... it's inevitable.

11:30am
don't really feel like pooping yet, the seats probably too cold. instead, i rather watch some football!!! UCLA's playing the fighting irish. nice.

12:45pm
went out to arby's w/ dad for lunch. almost wanted to puke after 2 bites into the roast beef. but i sucked it up and finished it like a man... personally, arby was not the best choice at the time. i wanted to poop before lunch but didn't had the chance or the courage... there were no bathroom's at arby... i hate it when i have to plug. ow, my finger hurts.

1:30pm
got back home, UCLA's up by 4pts in the fourth. after lunch we went to auto zone to buy some parts for my dirty car. For the past 3 months we had trouble opening the passenger doors because i accidently broke off the lock handle... it took EXTRA effort to open doors. was quite annoying i might add. i thought about selling the car because of it...

1:33pm
finished installing the broken car lock. it took all together maybe 3 mintues... damn. i thought to myself 1) why i didn't do this 2 months ago. 2) great. now you have no excuse to buy a new car... damn door locks.

3pm
OMG!! that game was crazy! UCLA's up by 4pt w/ 3 mintues left and the possession of the ball. it seemed like a big upset was well under way and the party's about to begin in cali. then the irish got the ball back after they punted it with 1:06 left on the clock and no timeouts, at their own 20. And get this... brady quinn and the lucky irish took it all the way down the field in 36 seconds and won it!! it took 4 plays, no huddle, great, just great, clock managment. what a heartbreak, ouch. not for me tho, it was crazy... good game. that brady quinn, damn.

3:24pm
thank heavens, finally pooped... i feel so much better. flushed twice.

4pm
showered.... hair still smells like smoke from the last night tho. the finger burn hurts more when wet. and it smells like campfire everytime i picked my nose... i think i picked it about 5 times in the last hour, and well on pace to hit the centry mark by dinner. i take pride in my clean nositrals. the nails are another topic.

4:15pm
i think i'm getting black lungs... hair's still smoky after shower. oh well, no time to shower again 'cause Jeremiah's coming over and we're going to the saturaday market!!!! YIIIIIIPIY! i haven't been there in 5 years i think.

4:55pm
it took us forever to get there... jeremiah drove.

5:45pm
what a nice day! the sun, the warmth, and the fresh air. Mmm. good stuff. i saw vera! whom i have not seen in 4 years.... and brought myself a ring. ya-ya. it's cool. i like it. and it's 5 bucks. yea. and also a duck bracelet, you know, to accessoraize.

6:40pm
had dinner at lloyd center... i ordered a large drink at micky d's just for the monopoly pieces... but they didn't give me any. i was pissed. now i'm waiting outside to be picked up by connie and friend ruth, we're going to sarah moon's concert!! and it's cold outside!!!

7:06pm
man, the drive was rough. we almost died... the place was literally maybe 10 blocks away from lloyd center, and if it had been 20 blocks, i don't think we would have made it. this is the first time since a loong time that i didn't drove. i miss driving... gave connie my coke, they cheat me out of monopoly pieces.... sad.

9pm
the concert was good. yea. good stuff. finger stopped hurting. i'm healed! good job sarah.

9:30pm
got dropped off at the max station at rose garden, just in time to catch the yellow line into downtown. sweetness.

9:34pm
got off at the chinatown stop. destination: 23rd and burnside. better start walking... good thing it was nice outside. i enjoyed it quite a bit. good concert. band really helped.

9:45pm
chinatown's scary at night by yourself. good thing i'm wearing my badass trailblazer hat.

9:55pm
23rd's farrrrrrr. i swear there's like 5 streets between 21st and 23rd, cause it took forever. i started at 2nd street.

10:15pm
finally here... i feel kinda sweaty. me co-workers are not here yet, nor is me friends... time to time some pictures and let the night begin!

11:30pm
amy said that she never seen me drunk before... and i said "really? guess i'll have to show you."

1:45am
i showed her. now she knows, and knowing, is half the battle.

3:00am
got a ride home from hai :) yippy. guess it all worked out.

3:25am
dad woke up and came in to check on me... the joy of living w/parents.
gotta be up by 9 for work.... hmm... damn crusade.

PRESSPLAY

I'm bring blogging back.

let tuesday oct. 17th, 2006 be remembered as the day that 1) david got off work and was home before it was dark outside for the first time since august (only to go back to work again later that night and didn't get home till 10:30pm), and 2) the debut of p.diddy's newest album... PRESSPLAY. and yes, you bet-cha, i brought it.

jealous? don't be.

why? 'cause it sucks.

I was wondering why it came out all of the sudden and i had heard nothing about it till i learned it from Jay Leno last week. there's a reason why we haven't heard any of his songs on the radio... it's cause they suck. and yet, quite ironically, i'm listening to it right now.

it doesn't have good beat to dance to, the lyrics are redundant, the vocals are non-existent, and yet i've been somewhat strangely addicted to this CD because of one thing... his swagger*. you know, massive swagger, like attitude, confidence, drive, and determination. "I am the King" of hip-hop sort of thing. And that is his thing. music is his vehicle and he's taking full advantage of it to get his message out. and that's power.

it's been brought to my attention that no one really blogs anymore... it's either that or i don't have any friends. i refuse to believe i don't have any friends, and thus leads to the conclusion that no one really blogs anymore. i am guilty of this charge as well as i haven't not been keeping up to date lately. today i went on some random sites on blogger and boy was it sad... the 1st one's in japanese, the 2nd's a nerd's journal about some festival, follow by one in french, then an angry one (i think the tin-man needs help), and wraps up with a typical conversation of a 11-yr old girl that brings aggers** to my head. (i left a note on her tag to express my feelings)

On a plus note i noticed that my profile view has jumped from 135 to a new record high of 154! (yes. i check it religiously) Thus telling me that the demand for blog reading is high while the supply is seemly looooooowww. This is a major problem in our generation. dare i say major? MAJOR i said! and it is our duty to tell the "goodnews" to everyone. what are the reasons for not blogging?
1- my life's not worth mentioning cause it sucks.
2- i'm too lazy
3- me no english
4- it's too time consuming
5- i'm a reader, not a writer

if that was the case, then some of the benefits of blogging are:
1- by forcing yourself to blog. you will either notice things in your daily routine that are interesting or, better yet, start living an interesting life. thereby, turning your sucky life into one that's hippy-kay-yay.
2- it will bring discipline in your life and the start of being productive.
3- you're a fob... you learn english?
4- it will teach you better time management. yes. yes. it will. i think i heard it on TLC once.
5- with writing you have cotrol... umm.. cotole?... no control. yea, there we go. whereas reading, you have no control over the material at all. yep.

we have the privilege of voicing our thoughts to the WWW - WholeWideWorld - and that's pretty big. like bigger than china. yea. it's power. it's at your deposal. use it. So let all blogger unite. it's time to bring blogging back.



*swagger- not penis. i know you're thinking about it, sean "diddy" combs, you know... no need to lie to yourself, there' s no one here except for you and me. And i won't judge you, unless you're a guy... then you're gay.
** aggers- Agony. pain. ouchi.

on a funny note: today our mentor accidently drew a big penis on the board. we had a good laugh about it.
Also, I understand that many of you are very upset over the fact that i spent good money on a crappy cd. don't be. it's okay. it was on sale and i was able to use my monopoly bestbuy bucks for it. yay for monopoly.

Be there. Or be a dork. it's your choice.

Oct 20 - 22, 2006
Fall Conference @Twin Rocks Camp
Rockaway Beach, OR

Don't be a dork.

can't sleep? it's blogging time!

i should be sleeping by now figuring tomorrow's monday, and that means it's the beginning of another crazy rough week at work, one can use all the rest he can get. unfortunately... i kinda fell asleep around 7ish tonight.. so i'm feel quite awake now after a 3hr nap. it's blogging time.

1. got husled again last night. But this time its not by some random girl that just wanted a free drink, this time it's actually for a good cause, and it felt nice. met a bum named andrew, bought him 2 taco's for 2.50 and another 5 for his girlfriend elizabeth who he said had the same name as his mom. i don't really think he has a girlfriend but hey he needed the 5 bucks, and the tacos for that matter. the guy practically swallow the whole thing in 2 bits. turns out that he used to be in a gang down in LA, came up this summer, no work, no shelter. it's getting damn cold outside w/ all the rain. hmm.. that's rough. he gave me a calculator for the tacos... i tried not to take it but he insisted. he then asked me to pray for him and his girlfriend... sounds weird...but it really wasn't that awkward at that time. I'd buy him food anyday instead of getting a drink for a girl.

2. told myself that i wouldn't go out till halloween 'cause i need a break. well. that didn't happen. for one week, just one week, i'd like to just watch a movie on tv w/ my friends, have some popcorn, soda, and pizza, maybe play some poker or whatnots. you know, like before 21. that'd be nice.

3. it's getting damn cold. and crazy rain came down today. i liked the rain, it's about time. all these sunny october days were making me worried till the rain finally came today. it's oregon, it should be cold and depressing this time of the year. a girl i know down in LA loves the rain because 1) it only rains 5 hours a year there and, 2) it washes everything away and give it a new clean look. I like that perspective, water is the essence of life. without the rain oregon would look like cali, and that would be bad.

4. sorry to the peeps that i neglect lately. it's been busy and most times when i get home i just want to relax... and drink beer on the weekends :) give me sometime, i'll turn it around.

5. whoever thought that i would be a good sunday school teacher is 1) not right in their heads or 2) have not attended sunday school in their life. and it's not really sunday school, it's the freaken youth group, which consists of... 4 ppl. tops. if that. today there were 2. and they're related. there are six things that are wrong w/ this youth group:

1. their leader is an acoholic
2. a group consists of 3 and more ppl, we met that number once in the last 3 weeks.
3. the fact that their leader is not getting fed or being prepared for the studies cause he's always out till 4am on saturday nights because he's so dedicated in bring sexy back is probably not good.
4. one of the 4 kids don't speak english... it's a challenge.
5. i have one of those beneath the skin zits that lurks around like a old grandma at bingo night. it hurts when i touch it. i kept on touching it... in fact, i'm touching it right now.
6. we didn't pray today... damn it. i forgot.

but besides that i think there's potential for something great to come out of this group. it'll be a learning experience for all of us. maybe i should be praying about it... He knows what He's doing.

On a related note, a girl i know got rejected for communion because she called "it" a "cookie." it was hilarious... thank God for humor.

jones #4
- feelings of goodwill to all should lighten your mood.

yay.